Do you ever have those moments when you realize you screwed up? This morning I realized I really messed something up. In this moment, I'm feeling frustrated, embarrassed and angry. I'm also worried that I won't be able to "fix" the "problem" according to my timeline.
Want to know what happened?
Here are the basics: In September I went back to school to finish my B.A. This has been a wonderful experience but navigating the logistics has been soooo frustrating. As everything is in lockdown, no one is in the office, no one is answering phones and everything is done with an endless stream of emails. It took months to get all my logins, change my name, get my new ID, create a new email and so on.
Anyway, when I enrolled I confirmed that I intended to graduate this Spring. I've been waiting for details on how to proceed but until this morning I didn't go looking for information...did I miss something?? What I discovered is that I was supposed to apply for graduation in November! What!? Is the university using telepathy to communicate this?
Here's what I'm thinking and how I'm moving from shock to calm action...
Reflection: I want to blame "them". I know this, and maybe the university could have made this process more straight forward, but ultimately, I know it's my responsibility. Blaming them and blaming myself are not constructive options.
The story I'm telling myself: I have a habit of missing details and I trust the system to keep me informed. The whole reason I didn't graduate 20yrs ago is because of a missed email. Honestly, it was a total fluke, but the result is that I'm telling myself a story about messing this up...again. How could I do this again?
Now what? The only thing I can do now is to connect with the registrar's office and start asking for help. I'll find out what else is possible and explore whatever angles I can find. I always believe there is a way and if there isn't a way, I believe everything will work out in it's own time. And, it always does.
What do I know? I know that I am creating my experience. I know that everything will work out. I know I'm not an idiot. I know there are no "problems" and there is nothing to "fix". It's all just experience and I can chose to enjoy it, fight it or just do it. I know I can let this go until the offices open next week.
What have you messed up on?
Who are you blaming?
What stories are you telling yourself and others?
What action can you take to change this?
Why Share this story? We all make mistakes and we all tell ourselves stories about how we are the victim of someone else's inadequacy. Some of that may be true but what really matters is what we chose to do about it. In this moment I have a whole variety of emotions. I want sympathy, I want hugs, I want to cry and kick myself. But, I also know that this is a temporary experience based on the thoughts I'm having.
What I want for you is to allow yourself to have the experience...but not buy it as the whole truth. I want you to be able to pivot quicker, shake it off, move on and switch into action. I want you to co-create your experience of this life as something fun, fulfilling and freeing.
All the Love,
Darlene Tindall is a Possibility Coach, multi modality healer and teacher sewing the seeds of possibility far and wide. She is available in person or online for coaching, classes, private facilitation, energy work or yoga.