What does it mean to live a miraculous life?
The alternative as I see it is to:
A miraculous life isn’t about winning the lottery or having everything you ever dreamed coming true all the time. It’s not a fairytale, stroke of luck or fantasy. It’s a dance and life is your dance partner. When you and your dance partner work together a great synergy happens where neither needs to lead or follow, both just flow together and allow the music and rhythm to carry you.
I have at least one area in my life where I can still feel myself trying to force things to be a certain way. I have an outcome in mind, a vision of how it should look, and it just doesn’t. What this tells me is that I’m trying to lead in a dance that I don’t even know the steps to. I’m not tuning into the rhythm, not listening to the song and not feeling for life’s impulse to move me. I’ve dug my heels in, stuck my fingers in my ears and I’m trying to sing my own song above the music. Then I wonder why it’s not going according to my design. The joke is on me. I'm the one not working with what life wants to create.
One of my favourite questions to ask clients and people who attend my workshops is “If you were a miracle, would you want to come to your party?” What I’m getting at here is that miracles are attracted to welcoming spaces. They don't feel drawn to your need to control, criticize or complain. Who would be attracted to that? But, have you ever noticed that when you have a subtle shift in perception, suddenly doors start opening? You've instantly become the party animal that miracles are looking for. I see this with people I coach all the time. Coaching is about insight. If a person can have an insight about how they’ve been showing up in life, then all of a sudden new possibilities and opportunities start showing up.
One client I worked with recently was really struggling to let go of unpleasant thoughts and feelings around a man she had to see for work purposes. Her unease with him affected her so much that she was avoiding him and feeling threatened by his presence. She even felt that her wellbeing was being significantly impacted by their stressful relationship. In one of our sessions we had a good look at this and got really curious about different things. A sense of compassion for him started to develop and then a desire to let him off the hook and see him from a new perspective. On our call the following week, she reported that she had received a message from this man that completely changed the tone of their relationship. Her insights allowed her to experience him differently and as a result he was able to show up in a whole new way. I think that is an example of miraculous living resulting from a change of perspective.
This morning I was reminded of a quote from Marianne Williamson that says “Miracles are a shift in perception”. That’s true in my experience. Over the years, every time I’ve been able to see where I was limiting the possibilities of life, playing small, being a victim, doubting my value, shrinking from challenges or defending my fears, I was able to choose a new way of seeing my world. That’s when things start to change and shift for me. New things become possible and new opportunities present themselves. Many times, the things that seemed so important previously just fade away as new ideas and possibilities start to present themselves.
A miraculous life is about the small things. It’s about noticing the little mini miracles that make life more meaningful, playful and rewarding. It is enjoying green lights and good parking spots, but its also about using the red lights for short meditations and distant parking spots for a bit of fresh air. The amazing thing about this approach is that if you don’t resist red lights or the distant parking spots, you’re likely to have more green lights and prime parking. This is what a change in perspective can do for you.
I learned something really valuable from Mary, the first woman to open an independent youth hostel in Ireland. Her hostel was well off the beaten track in a village called Glencolmcille. At the time I was there, the entrance was off to the back of the building. The door opened to a hallway. The small bedrooms with bunk beds were to the right. On the left was a rock/wall with ferns growing on it and the ceiling was corrugated plastic to let the light in. I wandered into the kitchen one very wet day and had to step over a stream of water that was flowing off the rocks and across the flagstone floor. Now, if that had happened in my home in Canada, well that just would never happen, ever, it wouldn’t be tolerated. But Mary, grabbed a mop and in her cheery sing-song Irish voice said “Oh, time to wash the floors”.
Mary had learned to live in harmony with her surroundings. I was completely stunned by her response and it shifted something inside of me. Why not? Why not just mop the floors? Why not have ferns growing on the rock inside the house? Why not just enjoy things as they are and see them as blessings instead of something to fix? It’s been almost 30 years and I still recall that experience.
A miraculous life happens when you cultivate it as a friendship. How many experiences do we interpret as a threat to our wellbeing when that isn’t necessarily the case? Like a river flowing through the kitchen, a red light or a distant parking spot.
I like to ask the question “What if life were my best friend?” If life were my best friend, how would I relate to it? What would I offer, what would I ask for? If you treat life as your best friend, it’ll respond in kind.
The best relationships I have are ones where:
In my experience all these qualities of a good friendship can be applied to life, and when they are, miracles show up. It’s fun, there’s flow and ease.
What is your relationship like with life? Is it harmonious and friendly? Do you expect things to go in your favour or do you anticipate the worst possible outcome? Is it more like a battle than a love affair? Do you laugh when things go sideways or do you use that as evidence that life’s out to get you? Are you more like Eeyore or Winnie-the-Pooh? Are you often sad, hopeless or defeated? Or are you optimistic, cheery and hopeful?
These things matter. I would never expect you to just flick the switch and go from Eeyore to Winnie-the-Pooh, but I have seen it happen. It can happen with an insight, like the one I got from watching Mary in the kitchen with the mop. I would never have considered responding to life quite like that and she helped me have an entirely different perspective.
Here’s what I suggest you try if you'd like to experience more of the miraculous in everyday living:
1. Be grateful for the small things, for the weird and insignificant things if necessary. Things like eyelashes and fingernails…thank goodness we have them! This can also lighten your mood, which will speed the process.
2. Notice little synchronicities. It’s a sense of wonder at the small things like “if this hadn’t happened, then that wouldn’t have happened”. I think of those as fun little miracles that make life so much more magical.
3. Laugh. Seriously, if you were a miracle, what kind of party would you want to go to? Who would you want as a friend? So find things to laugh about, it might just be the fastest route to things working in your favour.
4. Go with heart. Bring warmth and love into the things you do and the relationships you have. See the positive, give the benefit of the doubt and get clarity if you have confusion. It’s better than holding a grudge or bad feelings.
5. Tend to the areas where you feel like you’ve been wronged or where you see yourself as a victim. This just doesn’t serve you. It’s counterproductive and won’t get you where you want to go.
6. Start thinking more in terms of possibilities and less in terms of “that won’t work because…”. Either way, you’re probably right. That's how it works. Life generally gives you what you believe you can have. It’s way more fun to be right about possibilities so that’s where I’d put my energy.
7. Listen to your insights and let curiosity guide you. Insight and curiosity are partners. They go together and lead to wonderful discoveries, synchronicities and miracles.
8. Celebrate small and big wins. Get excited about the green lights, finding loose change in the sofa, or remembering to bring the bags when you do groceries. There is always something that is actually working in your favour.
9. Keep a gentle awareness of your thoughts. You know the term “potty mouth”, well that applies to our thinking as well. You might call it “stinkin’ thinkin’” and it happens all the time. Worry, doubt, fear, second guessing, overthinking, calculating, micromanaging, criticizing and all thoughts of that nature are counter productive. You’ve got to do something about that and I’ll address it in greater detail another time.
10. Finally, Claim your life as a place for miracles. “My life is a place for miracles.” Doing this greatly shifts your energies and opens the doors to all kinds of wonderful things.
Miracles can be a part of daily life. In fact, I believe they want to be part of your life. Miracles need willing humans to manifest wonderful experiences and ideas into the world of form. I also believe that life wants to be enjoyed and savoured and that the more we do this the more life shows up in fun and rewarding ways.
I’m lucky to be able help guide people to more miraculous living. If you’d like my support with this, reach out and lets have a conversation.
Darlene Tindall is a Transformational Life Coach, multi modality healer and teacher sewing the seeds of possibility far and wide. She is available in person or online for coaching, classes, private facilitation, energy work or yoga.