What if this Christmas could be your best yet? What if you could have so much joy and ease with your family that you actually have a good time?
Let's take a moment to look at family. We've got mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, cousins, children and don't forget your spouse or partner and the inlaws. If you were to write a list of all the people you will spend time with over the holiday and next to each person's name you wrote personality traits or things you love/hate about them, you would notice that you have a relatively fixed point of view about each person. You'd have the funny uncle, the drama queen cousin, the quiet and introverted sibling, the overbearing aunt and so on.
So, here's something to really look at. We have all these fixed points of view about who they are, what they're like, the things they do, the way they interact and so on. The thing with a fixed point of view is that not only does it prevent us from having a different experience with these people but it may also help to keep them stuck that way.
Would you be willing to have a different experience? Would you be willing to see things differently? And, would you be willing to let everyone be exactly the same as last year and have a good time anyway?
Here are a few tools you can use to prepare yourself, release some of those old points of view and things you can do in the moment without anyone ever knowing.
1. Pace yourself this season. Schedule a yoga class, massage, meditation or an Access Bars® session. This quiet time just for you is so important for unplugging from daily responsibilities and it will actually help you get more done. Think of it as an investment. An hour of Access Bars® is like fuel in the tank but with much greater mental clarity, ease and flow.
2. "Interesting point of view, I have that point of view". This is a great reminder in all situations, but especially in family gatherings. It helps you distance yourself from the points of view that come up non stop sometimes. Let it just be interesting that "they" are so annoying or needy or obnoxious. I also like to say "interesting comparison, I'm making that comparison". That's for me personally when I am comparing myself to someone who is "better" than I am or "more accomplished" or whatever. All it is is a comparison. There's nothing real about it.
3. Ask "How does it get any better than this?" and "What else is possible?". These questions are amazing tools used in Access Consciousness™. They are wonderful and I see them change my life and others lives all the time. If you are ready for things to show up new and different in your family, ask these. Ask when your partner actally does something the way you like it. Ask when guests actually show up on time or when anything goes well. Also, ask when things fall apart and a problem arises.
4. Finally, if it really is not enjoyable to do Christmas the same way it's always been done, maybe it's time for a change. "What would it take to create a Christmas experience that I/everyone enjoys? What else is possible here that I haven't considered? What can I do or be that would create a different result?" Sometimes this requires you to do something you've been resisting. It might not be important to you but it is to others. Or it might require you to say "no" to some invitations. The key is to stay in question mode, not answer mode. You'll know when the answer comes because it'll be right there in front of you. If something isn't working for you...ask a question. You know it's not working, you don't need to spin on that fact. The question will start to help you see another possibility.
A few years ago our family of 4 decided that Christmas was getting way too busy. Too many places to go in one day, too many meals to prepare and consume. What we really wanted was to just do something simple. We decided it would be really fun to go sliding instead so that's what we did. We took our time with gifts and breakfast and went sliding until we had our fill. Then we went home, changed and trotted off to Grandma's. It was a fun day and we still got to do most of what we would have planned anyway. Our second family dinner was moved to the day after which extended the festivities and was much more enjoyable for all.
So here's to you and a wonderful Christmas season. May we all discover our innate ability to live a life of ease, joy and possibility and by doing so, may we create the world anew.
Darlene Tindall is a Transformational Life Coach, multi modality healer and teacher sewing the seeds of possibility far and wide. She is available in person or online for coaching, classes, private facilitation, energy work or yoga.