What if what ails you isn't yours?

Have you ever heard the phrase/question "Who does this belong to?". I'm not talking about messes you clean up around the house "who does this belong to? pick it up please!". No, not like that.

Here's something I've noticed. When I'm upset, cranky, achey, lethargic, stuffed up or whatever I'm experiencing that is not pleasant and really inconvenient, I have started asking this question. Who does this belong to anyway?

I know that I care deeply about other's wellbeing, I know you do to. We would gladly suffer so another wouldn't have to feel the pain. I also know that when I'm in a group of people who are upset, it's very easy for me to feel along with them even if I'm not even involved.

When I ask who does this belong to, often times my symptoms will reduce or go away completely. Sometimes it's quick and other times I ask all day long. I'm training my body to recognize what's ours and what's not.

One of the most interesting experiences I had with this was actually with my kids. I noticed that the only time they "fought" was right after school or when we were other people who were frustrated.

One day they came home and sat on the couch and were starting to hit each other and yell really nasty things. This is completely out of character for them. My usual response is to interrupt the argument and ask them "Do you need help resolving this or do you have the tools to do it yourself? You have the tools? Great, I'll leave you alone." Then I leave the room.

This time was different and it was suddenly clear to me that this was not like them...oh my goodness, this is not them at all. I interrupted them and acknowledged how kind and caring they are and how I know it's difficult going to school with a bunch of people who might be experiencing difficulties that they don't know how to resolve. I know you would love to help them and that you feel their frustration, anger and helplessness.

Then I asked them if they would mind if I did some clearing with them, they were still fuming mad but they agreed. So we cleared things like "everywhere you've mistaken someone else's feelings and frustrations for your own, will you release and let that go?".

Now, when they get into it, I just say "Who does it belong to? Is it yours? Is it someone else's?" and that's usually all it takes. It's like Hot Potato.

So, here's my recommendation if you would like to try this out. If you're feeling sick, have aches and pains, are frustrated or cranky or feel helpless, ask "Who does this belong to?". The point is NOT to get an ANSWER. The point is to get an AWARENESS. Like a wake up call to your body. To me it's like saying "hey Body" or "hey Dar" it's not yours honey. You don't have to feel this way.

Am I perfect at it and nothing bothers me anymore and I don't get sick or anything? Not yet...it's a practice and it has dramatically improved many things in my life.